Rain

There's something comforting and magical about the rains whether you are running around getting soaked to the skin, revelling in the downpour, or just sitting indoors, steaming cup of coffee or tea or any hot beverage on hand,  just watching the showers from afar, comfortably nestled in warm, dry clothes.
Personally, I'm more inclined to enjoy the rains from outside (or would that be inside?), dry and warm. While I absolutely love watching the droplets of almost-pure water leap from the skies, gather momentum and nosedive straight to the earth below, I find more joy and peace watching rain slap against glass - the larger droplets, fat and angry, bouncing off the window panes with a loud rhythmic tap-tap-tap, like Gene Kelley on speed.

Or there is the quiet beauty of the tinier,  gentler droplets landing gracefully on the panes, and a sliding down gently, leaving behind long streaks of liquid footprints - like bulging cracks across the clear glass.
And then there are the tinier droplets still,  which won't streak their way down the glass - stubborn little globules of cloudy tears, which stick to the glass as if with a clear adhesive. The same droplets like tiny crystals,  which leave the glass looking like a brightly - sequinned sheer veil.

And how about the droplets of water coursing through the surfaces, hanging on to the edges of tarps and window sills, ready to drop in a splash? The beautiful glittering droplets, with a tiny reflection of the world trapped inside them, upside down, sparkling in the light like the crystals of a natural chandelier.

Or the rain splashing down with plip-plops of glee, upon the puddles in the streets, leaving behind these tiny expanding ringlets, which vanish into the water, beautiful, yet barely there for a moment. Here's one, and there's another - and now they're both gone, and there's yet another one.

There is something eerie and cathartic about watching a strong downpour from the comfort of a closed, warm room (or a vehicle). Something about the stream of cascading water wishing out your view of the world gently, almost with a comforting promise of a cleaner world once it's work is done. And of course,  there is some truth to it after all. Watching the watery distortion of the familiar scenes through the haze of the glass, the stream of flowing water and the curtains of the rain - the Dali-esque surreal scene with melting buildings and wobbly trees. Call me simple,  but I can't imagine a lot of more beautiful scenes.

Did I mention I love the rains?

As Time Goes By...

This is not a reference to the Herman Hupfeld song, immortalized by Dooley Wilson, Sinatra, Armstrong, et al, or the eponymous TV series with Geoffrey Palmer and Dame Judi Dench (both of which I adore, incidentally).

I notice that, almost every day, as the day progresses, my mood tends to swing from the excited towards bored, lethargic, and ending with a healthy-to-moderately-unhealthy dose of cynicism. I can't exactly say what triggers the onsets (and progressions) of these gradually eroding good-mood mindset - Mainly because there isn't really any concrete reason.

 It probably has something to do with the fact that as the day passes, my mind goes from being occupied with work to being really bored. The idle mind being the metaphorical devil's workshop and all, my subconscious (semi-conscious?) brain gets inundated with myriad thoughts - mostly irrelevant, unprovoked and unnecessary, leading to the otherwise-unoccupied thought centers focusing on the negative stuff in the world around me.

It's funny that I'm usually cheerful in the mornings, eager to wake up (now, as opposed to a few years ago) and to get to work - well, most days anyway. Evenings, when not spent watching a movie or reading a book, are usually depressing and leading to restlessness and frustration. Nights on days like that are usually ending on a morose note, with grumpy ole me bitching and venting into a blog post like this.

I'm terrible at writing conclusions to post, so I'll leave it at that.

Conflict

I hate conflict. And I do my best to avoid them as much as possible, even when it comes my way. I tend to hate it so much, I get upset when I see people invoking and bringing conflict into their lives - be it strangers, friends or family. I suppose I'm not alone in this regard.

I hear neighbors and family arguing loudly, screaming at one another and fighting, and I get irrationally upset, even when it does not involve me. The voice in my head screams silently, trying to drown out the noise of the angry chaos, the shouting voices and arguments which go nowhere.

And what's worse - that's the best I can am willing to do. I don't want to get sucked up into the black hole of a conflict - specially not ones that don't originally involve me. I could always don my headphones and initiate a barrage of loud music to drown out the cacophony of argumentative voices. Maybe that's the best option.

Why can't people just get along with one another, without all that hatred and anger and discontent? Why can't people just give in a little bit, and try to be nice to one another, even if it is just an act, just so there is some semblance of peace in the world?

Sure, it's not easy - it never is. This, I know from personal experience - I tend to go to extreme lengths to avoid conflict - often at my own expense - but the peace and calm it brings are often enough to make me not feel bad about hurting my own cause.

Can't we just get along?

Resolutions from this side of 30

New Years are supposed to be a time for resolutions, right?
So, why choose an arbitrary day for that, just because some overzealous guy chose the Gregorian calendar as the de facto calendar for the rest of the world? Since this is my world, centered around me (me? narcissistic? Why do you ask?), I'll choose my birthday to be my new year.

So, What about my resolutions? Why now, you ask?
Setting foot into a new decade of my life, looking back upon the earlier ones, I realize there is so much more I could have probably done. So much potential squandered, so much time wasted on trivial stuff - and not really a lot of accomplishments to feel proud of.

So, after the cold, hard look at the past, and a long critical introspective look into the brambly labyrinths of my mind, I realize I have a long way to go, before I can feel good about myself. Or feel a sense of accomplishment, no matter how small or unimportant. I'm probably being self-deprecating, but that's how I feel.

So, here are some things I want to accomplish in the next decade (I won't say next year - I am terrible with deadlines, and I don't stick to them - another thing to work upon?).

STUFF TO DO BEFORE I TURN 40!

1. Shape Up. Exercise. Eat Healthier. Work Out. Combat the lethargy and laziness. 
2. Run a 5k ... Or even a 10k. Get Physical! Ignore the flat foot. Begin Cardio. Jog regularly. Build up stamina. Run. Faster. Longer.
3. Get a Tattoo. Anywhere. Something you won't regret at age 75. Something beautiful. Meaningful. Experience the pain - the sting of the needles. Some pain is good for the soul.
4. Get Published. A Book. A column. An article. Hell - even a mention in the rogues' gallery! Anything but an obituary =/
5. Learn to Play a Musical Instrument.  Any instrument will do. Learn to carry a tune. Learn to appreciate music better. Learn to appreciate the effort.
6. Learn a New Language - Or Three. Become a polyglot. Learn about new cultures. Visit a foreign land and speak their tongue. Make a friend who speaks a different language. Hate less.
7. Find Yourself. Introspection. Philosophies. Meditation. Books. Alternate Methods. Life. Anything goes. Don't be afraid to try something new - even if someone else says it's bad. Make mistakes and learn from them.
8. Do Something Wild and Adventurous. Bungee Jump. Go Parasailing. Skydive. Go Rock climbing. White Water Rafting. Trekking in the wild. Feel that adrenaline pumping and the heart racing. Fight your fears, combat those demons inside, telling you to sit back and relax. Experience the natural highs of life - outside a cubicle.
9. Meet a Celebrity You Respect. Someone you admire. A person of substance. A person you can admit to adoring, without feeling embarrassed. Someone you can unabashedly worship and be a fanboy about. Spend a minute in their presence. Or an hour. Feel honored.
10. Be Happy. Probably the most underrated resolution - and the most cliched. Find happiness anywhere you can. Love yourself - every aspect, including the flaws. Love the world around you. Love life. Be Happy.

I'm not sure if this is a practical list. It probably isn't very practical. But it certainly is not THAT unattainable.

Here's to 30!