... And I'll be 35.
It's supposed to be some sort of a milestone, right? The big Three-Five. Time for a mid-life crisis. An age of reflection and celebration of some achievement.
And I don't feel anything different than I did last night. Or last week. Or last year.
I suppose it's time for a reflection - what have I accomplished?
I have a steady paying job.
I have a degree that's kept me employable.
I'm a decent human being.
Yeah.. That pretty much sums it all up - and it's enough, I guess?
Except it doesn't feel like it's enough. Maybe I'm being unrealistic in my expectations.
I've been fantasizing about getting a tattoo, the last couple of months, but as usual, I've fallen behind on actually following through with it. I even have a design in mind (FINALLY) - something symbolic of my personal belief system. Yet, it feels too nerdy and pretentious.
I want something representing the chaos inside me. And a reminder to myself that there's no point trying to control everything in life - because there are too many variables that have brought me to where I am right now.
And what better to represent this, than a Lorenz Attractor?
So, why do I not have the tattoo already?
Is it the expected pain, that I want to avoid? Maybe.
Or is it the fear of committing to something - even if it is as simple as ink on my body?
It's hard to tell. Maybe it's both.
Maybe I'll get it by the time I turn 36.
It's supposed to be some sort of a milestone, right? The big Three-Five. Time for a mid-life crisis. An age of reflection and celebration of some achievement.
And I don't feel anything different than I did last night. Or last week. Or last year.
I suppose it's time for a reflection - what have I accomplished?
I have a steady paying job.
I have a degree that's kept me employable.
I'm a decent human being.
Yeah.. That pretty much sums it all up - and it's enough, I guess?
Except it doesn't feel like it's enough. Maybe I'm being unrealistic in my expectations.
I've been fantasizing about getting a tattoo, the last couple of months, but as usual, I've fallen behind on actually following through with it. I even have a design in mind (FINALLY) - something symbolic of my personal belief system. Yet, it feels too nerdy and pretentious.
I want something representing the chaos inside me. And a reminder to myself that there's no point trying to control everything in life - because there are too many variables that have brought me to where I am right now.
And what better to represent this, than a Lorenz Attractor?
So, why do I not have the tattoo already?
Is it the expected pain, that I want to avoid? Maybe.
Or is it the fear of committing to something - even if it is as simple as ink on my body?
It's hard to tell. Maybe it's both.
Maybe I'll get it by the time I turn 36.
